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Short Man in Love
One (vertically challenged) writer comes up short in the romance department.
by Jonathan Bender
By the end of the song, I’m standing on a chair. My date heads for the bathroom as the last chords of ‘I’m the One Who Wants to Be With You,’ mercifully fade away. My hot cheeks are as pink as the dance-floor balloons. We won’t dance again that night.
Just 24 hours earlier we had been sitting and kissing at the movies. Great date. But it all unraveled when we stood to dance.
Boston, MA, 2001. Against my better judgment, I take a girl I like on a walking date. However, I’ve abandoned dating taller women and with a two-inch height advantage, I like my chances. Inside The Children’s Museum, a painted blue strip runs the length of the wall in the human body exhibit, noting the average height of men and women in society.
“I’m shorter than 90 percent of men,” I cheerfully inform Kate. The top of my head stands just below the blue line.
“Nope, you’re shorter than 95 percent of the population,” she responds.
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1 Jay // Sep 3, 2008 at 2:11 am
This is for all the men posting here:
I’m a 5′7″man and I have never thought of myself as a short man, but as more or less average at least on the global scale. These guys who are 5′7″ or so and blame their lackluster love lives on lack of height are full of sh*t. They need to “man up” and stop whining (maybe it sounds harsh, but its true). Yeah, most women probably fantasize about “tall, dark, and handsome” men like on those Barilla commercials with Mr. Italy serving up a hot plate of pasta, but women are attracted to general manliness, and manliness is much more than height. It is being level-headed, stoic, dominant, good natured, chivalrous, strong, intelligent, fit, motivated and able to lead. I know plenty of tall men who are pussies/wimps who I would never “look up” to or even want to associate with as friends because they just seem boring, weak, dull, domesticated, even effeminate. The richest man I know (150+ million), the smartest man I know (Ph.D. mathematician, and also extremely ripped/athletic), and the most dangerous and strongest man I know (competitive mixed martial arts) are all noticeably shorter than I am. I do think that shorter men are sometimes unfairly labeled as “Napoleonic syndrome” just for exhibiting normal levels of male aggressiveness or exercising legitimate authority. People forget that Napoleon ACTUALLY WAS one of the greatest military leaders in history who accomplished more than most men dream of. Plenty of powerful leaders have been (and are) of below average height. To all you whining men: get over it and act like a man. Do some push-ups and use your whole being to find a woman who is attracted to you like a magnet for the amazing beacon of manliness that you are. Really all you need to do is seek women who you can connect with on the right plane of consciousness/wavelength. For your own sake, do not take sh*t from any woman who does not respect you as a “real man”.
2 Anne // Aug 21, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I’m 5′8″ and have dated men shorter, they always said they were taller for some reason. I am sorry to say I did not want to date a shorter man, it made me feel less like a real woman. I felt more masculare when with them, and couldn’t were heels. However, I did marry a man about and inch shorter — he was a good in many ways.
3 Lizbeth // Aug 8, 2008 at 11:47 am
I only date taller men as well. They must be at least a few inches taller, preferably more. They just look better undressed and more like men. I can’t relate to short men *as* men. They seem more like a really good girl friend with facial hair.
4 Gwen // Jul 14, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I must say I’m not all that into men significantly shorter than me. Of course, I’m only 5′2″ so it doesn’t come up much. My current boyfriend, however, is the same height as me and I just love him to death. At first it was a little odd dating someone as short as me, but I soon started to love it. We literally see eye to eye, I feel that he treats me more like an equal than other men; plus I can wear his jeans! Also, ladies, height is not a good predictor of *ahem* size. As for reaching things on high shelves, a good man is a lot harder to find than a good stepstool.
5 Taller than most // Jul 10, 2008 at 9:54 am
I’m 5′8″ and am not attracted to shorter men. I’ve been seeing a guy who’s 5′6″ and it’s just not working. I’m not shallow and this isn’t something I choose consciously, it’s just the way it is. But there are plenty of short women out there so the short guys should be fine! Anyone who says there’s something wrong with being short is an idiot but one can’t help whom he or she is attracted to.
In all honesty, I can’t even hold hands with the short man I’ve been seeing because it’s like holding the hands of a 12 yr-old. The thought in the back of my mind is that if someone got into a fight with him I’d have to step up to defend him. And forget about wearing heels.
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