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Are Sex Parties The New Vibrator?
What happens when a virgin party-goer spends a Saturday night a-swingin'?
by Regina Lynn
I’ve been interested in sex parties for a long time, but until tonight, I have not ventured out to one. Not because I’m shy or nervous or afraid to ask my partner what he thinks about the idea. My hesitation stems from a rather quirky place: I didn’t want to tarnish my own fantasy of what a sexual celebration could be.
I’ve always wanted to participate in an erotic festival where our lusty appreciation of food, wine and sex combine into a spiritual gestalt. In my story, the event centers around fecundity and involves bonfires and drums and oiled-up men dancing and mock-fighting to impress the women. Couples and groups slip into the fields to make love in all kinds of combinations, and details like marriage vows and promise rings do not matter for the duration.
Because this fantasy is so detailed, and so tailored to my own personal desires, I figured that no modern sex party could live up to my dream, and I would leave disillusioned.
And yet, if you read my Sex Drive column at Wired.com, you know I have spent more than a decade exploring sexuality online. And you know that on the internet, you can taste polyamory and group sex and public sex and sex with people all along the spectrum of gender, orientation and adventurousness.
And I wondered: What might it be like to have all of that available in person?
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1 Arji // Aug 15, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I find it funny that a woman here would think this disgusting when it’s totally a woman’s game. It appears she was taught sex is ugly and disgusting. What a shame. We’ve been swinging for nearly 8 years now and I have found that women have complete control over the whole situation. Men are there hoping to get lucky and women are there trying decide who to play with with so many opportunities. I consider myself very lucky to have a beautiful woman make advances towards me. It’s a privledge that I don’t take lightly and I treat the lady as respectfully as I would have my wife treated by other men. Generally, that’s how it goes. The most important rule at any of these parties is No MEANS NO!. These parties are carefully monitored by the hosts and people get kicked out if they don’t follow the rules. Single men aren’t typically invited because they tend to get aggressive and hit on evey woman they see. That’s not the way of the swinger party. You can accomplish more by merely being yourself and having fun. That’s how to get laid.
2 Some Guy // Aug 14, 2008 at 12:54 pm
You seem to have mastered HBO’s knack for making sex boring. You went to a party, didn’t participate, and took how many words to say so?
What’s next, are you going to go to a philately convention and tell us all about how you’re not collecting stamps?
3 Don Garb // Aug 13, 2008 at 8:48 pm
This article is long winded and shallow. I’ve been a swinger for 14 years and things have sure changed since the “newbie invasion.” The idea that you will swing like a pro your first time out is nonsense. Swinging takes a lifetime to learn and there will always be more. Expect to spend 6 months to a year attending events regularly just to learn the basics.
4 Shelle // Aug 7, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Where are people’s morals? This is disgusting. There is much more to life than screwing. Why are people so hung up on SEX?
Richard, I guess you should be Embarrassed. You old Perv!
5 Raymond Rickard // Aug 7, 2008 at 11:10 am
Interesting article and I am happy to see you are discussing this topic. I live in Europe now and I have to tell you this article makes me wonder if America and Americans are still in the Puritan Age. In Europe swinging is very accepted and people go to swing clubs and get into why they are there. Your article sort of embarrasses me that America is still so prudish. You have a lot to learn from Europe in this regard.
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