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Marriage Without Monogamy
One couple's alternative to traditional vows? A legally binding contract.
by Dan Eldridge
Our hero gets engaged to the girl of his dreams, a friend of a friend who just so happens to hate the concept of marriage, and who prefers the convenience of an open relationship. Here, an introduction to their not-so-traditional first encounters.
It’s just after midnight, and I’m huddled into a bar booth next to Ray, an old college friend who has lately become my very frequent drinking buddy. Ray and I went to the same state school in Pittsburgh, and although we both fled town almost as soon as we graduated–Ray went to New York City and then L.A., while I lived in San Francisco and Seattle–for various reasons, we’ve both moved back. Neither one of us is especially pleased with the way our adult lives are turning out. And that’s probably why we both end up at dive bars three or four times a week, bullshitting about college, and guessing at the fortunes of our old friends–especially the ones we haven’t heard from in 10 years.
But tonight, Ray and I have company: Michael and Carrie, a couple I’ve been hearing about for ages now, and who supposedly have an open relationship. Michael and Ray were friends back in school as well, and for months now, Ray has been regaling me with stories about their college-day exploits. They were obsessed with hip-hop at the time, and on occasion they would dress up in hoodies and baggy jeans, and descend upon the city at night with stolen spray paint cans and giant Sharpie markers, prepared to carve their tags onto every blank surface in sight.
But that was ages ago, of course. Ten years. These days, Ray is much more into real estate and designer suits, which is probably why we get along so well. But lately, Ray has been dropping warnings to me about Michael, who apparently still fancies himself something of a thug–the type of guy who doesn’t hesitate to throw a punch when someone looks at him sideways.
I have a bit of a reputation myself: I’m the type of guy who likes to hit on girls who already have boyfriends. I’ve never really understood why I do it. But ever since I first laid eyes on Carrie at a house party, I wanted nothing more than to devour her whole. She was beyond gorgeous, and by the way she confidently strutted her way through a room, she obviously knew it. And then when Ray told me about her long-term boyfriend–six years!–and about the fact that they both sometimes slept with other people, I could literally picture myself sinking my teeth into the back of her neck, and drawing blood.
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1 BSAntenna // May 30, 2008 at 12:10 pm
What a pantload of crap. If you believe this silly fantasy, I’ve got a big bridge to nowhere to sell you.
2 t // Apr 11, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I guess I don’t understand why you and Carrie are going through all of this hassle. You’re not getting married. You’re not even dating exclusively. So why are you bothering with the joint accounts, the joint businesses and the “life partner” ceremony? Just date each other, and date others as well. Simple as that.
It sounds like you’re going through an awful lot of hassle to pretend that your relationship is something that both of you know it isn’t. Just date each other and date others as well. No fuss, no muss.
3 Jalena // Apr 11, 2008 at 9:19 am
I predict that in a few short years you will go the way of Michael - or vice versa, as you each find people new people that give you the emotional highs you relish in the newness of a relationship. Why else would you be open to sex with someone other than your “life partner” than to fulfill your primal urge?
4 The Daily Bedpost weighs in on Tango’s Marriage Without Monogamy column, again « The Labor Party // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:37 am
[…] known as Em & Lo have weighed in on the relationship I’ve been recently chronicling for TangoMag.com. Apparently, a good friend of Em & Lo’s accused them of having an anti-open relationship […]
5 Beauty Marks // Mar 27, 2008 at 7:33 am
[…] as her physical characteristics, rather than her writing or opinions. Our own contributors, like “Marriage Without Monogamy” writer Dan Eldridge, have experienced this mean-spirited jabbing, which seems so much easier when […]
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