Do You Run From Love?

by Sandra Barron

We asked Dusty Miller, the author of the new book, Stop Running From Love: Three Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing and Fear, some tough questions. The good news: She didn’t up and run. Scroll down to learn if you fit the profile of a classic “distancer.”

You’ve written about addiction and trauma. What made you write a book about love?
I was thinking about how even when a lot of therapeutic work has been done and a lot of issues are resolved, people still often face big challenges to having real closeness and intimacy and satisfaction in relationships, and I thought it was time to write about that.

And I really wanted to take a somewhat different approach, rather than having people try the same old thing and get discouraged. You always hear, “You’ve got to be open and communicate honestly,” but that’s not a magic bullet. I knew that a lot of people—both men and women— have reasons they don’t do that easily.

I think there’s a kind of universal fear of being vulnerable or letting somebody in.

That’s not so different from what other people write about, but I think the difference is understanding that there are different ways to approach changing that.