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Porn: When It Helps & When It Hurts
Some couples use it to sex up a relationship. For others, it spells the end.
by Anne Marie O'Connor
Nowhere do you find stranger bedfellows than in porn—and I’m not even talking about the performers. Seldom do feminists, fundamentalists and the federal government find themselves on common ground, but all three are currently united in an anti-porn ménage a trois. On the other side of the issue are free-speech advocates, porn stars and the 40 million Americans who, according to Internet Filter Review, regularly visit X-rated websites.
The only thing everyone agrees on? There’s more porn now than ever, thanks to the wonders of technology.
Like most things, porn was a lot harder in the old days. Back then, getting your hands on anything steamier than Playboy required donning a pervy-looking raincoat, driving to the seamy side of town, skulking into a shop with blinking “XXX” neon lights, browsing the wares in the company of some scary characters before getting up the courage to bring your purchases to the cashier. And then you still had to sneak the plain brown bag into the house.
Now, porn is delivered instantly at the click of a button, steaming hot, right into your living room.
For some people, it’s a piquant condiment for their sex lives. “As a single woman who doesn’t have a lot of sexual partners right now, it comes in handy when my imagination isn’t up to par,” says Zoe,* a writer in New York. Her personal not-so-guilty pleasure? Erotic stories, as well as the occasional movie. “A well-written story, that takes you through all the stages of sexual arousal to orgasm, is heaven. I wouldn’t say that porn replaces real sexual experiences, but it helps when things are slow.”
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1 Lizbeth // Aug 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
Porn is for the unimaginative and plain lazy. For the most part the most boring men I have known were well into porn. The more thoughtful, creative and interesting the man is the more likely he is to want to create his own sex life rather than watch someone else’s or watch two actors imitating one.
I really think the reason so many men are into porn is because they lack the creativity that most women naturally have when it comes to sex.
2 sean // Aug 5, 2008 at 1:54 am
it has its place & if that’s kept in mind then there’s no problem. since many women seem to get physically bored with the one partner (though not emotionally) one of porn’s uses can be to provide enough relief so that the man is not over demanding from the woman’s perspective
3 Barbara // Jul 30, 2008 at 1:14 am
Can’t IMAGINE porn helping anyone!!
Porn is objectifying and millions of men in the US alone now suffer from Centerfold Syndrome — every women they date or want to be with has to be a PERFECT 10 or no way.
No connection, no emotion, no talking, no intellectual sparks… nothing but that perfect body & perfect orgasm.
Having known a porn addict I can say it is the saddest waste of time and must hurtful thing to even be friends with one of these men.
4 Wayman // Jul 29, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Porn is for people who are weak minded and have no imagination at all and that is sad. Wheather your a man or a woman it can be addictive and will eventually overcome you. In todays society many have forgotten how to use their imagination that God gave them it’s a quick fix not a solution.
5 Trina // Jul 27, 2008 at 10:17 pm
After 10 years of my husband lying about porn I divorced him. I wish I had done it the first year of our marriage when I first found out. I could have saved a lot of time and money. His porn was always more important.
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