Why Do Men Buy Sex?

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• 1 Leslie // Jun 28, 2008 at 8:04 pm I must say the article “Why do men Pay for Sex” reminded me of a joke I once chuckled about. It goes something like this; Q: Why do Dogs Lick their Balls”? A: Because they can! I hope I am not just thinking I am making a clever yet very damning point with this m he he he amusing but true metaphore. *tongue in cheek joke. In his peice on wht men cheatm (may we just say it bluntly?” The author goes point by point through what he thinks is a very compelling argument FOR both the necessity of a man’s need for a little infidelity, or a lot, and a man’s need to take his well earned and much needed sexual breather with any woman other than his wife who, as the author so expertly points out, is both too busy cooking, cleaning, paying their bills and caring for their children, to properly present hersrlf sexually, as an object of desire and becon rest to her horney, deserving , husband.He therefor should by all rights seek out and pay out of their bank account , someone more worthy of his hardon and intimate time. After all, he has moved up in the world and deserves this. Meanwhile, his wife, whom he expertly misled into believing the following: (poor , dumb, stoop that she is) A. He lusts for her. B. Thinks of her every minute to the exclusion of all others. C an’t resist her and is she in for it when he gets home. * a now divorced Babyface sings about this concept that helps feul our misguided delusion. C: We can proove it by all the seemingly profound and sincere greeting cards that lovingly fill our drawers, saying things like, “when I met you, my world stopped and from that moment on and every day I fall to my knees (not for a blowjob) but to thank heaven for you. He in fact is still pinching himself to scabs over his good fortune at having found you. How could he have been so lucky. Question? Are you speaking about THIS WOMAN? The mother of your ugly kids, washer of your stinky socks and sex stained underware, maker of your meals…..YUP I think you are. GEE I think we thought we were first in your pathetic, narcissistic, ego pandering existance. HELLO Please allow me to speak for myself and I pray the other deluded, lied to, cheated on, used and neglected, purveyers of not your fun and relaxation but sadly your inner commode during a number two. Had you come clean with the REAL agenda, none (YES NONE) of you self centered worms would have even “first base” experience. If tomorrow your EGO died, would you be able to find anything else resembling you with or without a microscope. Right now sir, if you truly represent all men as you so cabalierly claim to do, please quote me when I say, I have never heard your dogness puy so well. You sir communicate what most of us ladies only to this point suspected. MEN REALLY ARE DOGS!!!!!!!!

• 2 DRK // May 28, 2008 at 4:01 pm This kind of pablum is the reason we aren’t moving forward quickly enough with the laws that criminalize the men who seek out prostitutes. Laws that WORK and help keep crime and the exploitation of women at lower levels. Has this author considered the fact that where there is a permissive attitude towards prostitution (and especially where it is made legal) there is also an increase in CHILD prostitution as well? Areas rife with prostitution are also full of many, many other forms of sexual exploitation, especially against minors. These women are not happy to serve these men in this manner, they just need money. If we provided low income women with better opportunities for education and so forth while punishing the men who seek out sexual services we would have a much healthier society in terms of emotional and sexual health. Many of these women turn to prostitution after having been raped and molested as children and after living lives in which true economic opportunity was scant or nonexistent. Allowing men to feel “okay” about paying to continue this rape on women is tantamount to gender and class warfare. You are ignoring the very real difficulties and sorrows that both illegal and legal prostitutes and other sex workers face in order to try to “normalize” this aberrant sexual behavior on the part of ignorant men. No amount of sexual “need” excuses taking advantage of another human being in this way. By hiring a prostitute, a man victimises the prostitute, his wife, and his children. Regardless of what the author may believe, it is NOT okay for men to go around “sowing their wild seeds” in the view of this society. Men who use prostitutes seem dirty minded and perverse to the majority of the members of society regardless of whether these men constitute 30% of the male population or not. As for the author’s insistence that this behavior is not perverse based on the idea that married men participate in it… this is an illogical and stupid argument. Plenty of married men can be perverse. Marrying a woman and starting a family does not give a man a “get out of being labeled perverse free card” in any sense, and his actions WILL affect his family and the protitute negatively regardless of his marital status or the number of other men also participating in this activity. There are also many STDs that a condom will not protect fully against, and condoms can fail. Further, many men who seek out prostitutes will attempt to have sex without a condom! Sex is never a risk free activity, whether oral, vaginal, or anal. These men can certainly bring harmful diseases home to their wives. Further, legalized prostitin only means that the state gains tax profits from prostitution and sets health codes for brothels. It does not necessarily make the life of a prostitute any safer, nor does it lessen the very high likelihood that these women will develop debilitating PTSD due to their experiences in servicing tens of men a day (if not more) for years. Prostitutes are treated as disposable women, which is actually the cornerstone of this person’s argument (prostitution is just having a totally disposable affair with someone for money! harmless! yeah, right…), and so by the very nature of this fact they live difficult and traumatic lives punctuated by violence in many forms (physical, emotional, verbal, and definitely sexual). And, as a woman, I would NOT stand by a man who had EVER seen a prostitute. If I found out later, even after marriage and children, that he had even seen one before meeting me I would find it almost impossible to love him anymore. Divorce would be quick to follow. A man who sees sex and women as buyable commodities has no place in a healthy woman’s life, and most women would at the *least* be heartbroken to find out that their husband had done something like this and proven themselves to basically be by-the-hour slavers. As for why political wives of late have “stood by their men” in the face of promiscuity, it isn’t due to a reason that most average women would have. For a political wife, she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t in this situation. Consider what would have happened to Clinton’s political aspirations if she had divorced Bill. A stable family has long been one of the important factors in proving that a candidate has moral character, and public opinion plays a huge part in shaping the actions of these political wives. If you look at the real world examples all around you of how women feel when they are cheated on, however, and what actions they take you may begin to understand why divorce rates are so high and why women have lost so much faith in men’s intentions in general. Prostitution is not the answer to anything. It is a symptom of socioeconomic inequity and the continuance into adulthood of childhood sexual abuse for countless women across the world. That married men use prostitutes does not prove that paying for sex is in any way “normal” or embedded in our society. Prostitution is a social disease, and the best policy to deal with this outrage is to punish those men who are so arrogant to assume that their payment for sex is in any way normal or harmless. The prostitutes have already gone through enough, it IS the johns that we should be going after. Also, how does the sex industry exist because of marriage?? That makes no sense, and no evidence has been presented to prove this by the author. In fact, what is this article beyond shallow opinion fluff? Have you done research into the suffering of prostitutes across the world? Any research at all other than this figure of 30% of men supposedly being johns? … It’s crap writing like this that causes many women to feel suspicious and worried when it comes to men. Women spend so much time wondering whether prospective or current partners might give them a STD or cheat on them, and this is just fuel to the fire. Perhaps the reason that these men are sexually unsatisfied in their marriages is BECAUSE they see prostitutes or cheat! Women are perceptive, and what woman would want a possibly diseased and definitely unfaithful man to share a bed with her? This article is ridiculous, puerile, and certainly only a half witted attempt to excuse truly inexcusable behavior. Massive, massive fail.

• 3 paul // Mar 15, 2008 at 1:16 pm The fact is that most men have a strong sexual appetite. This appetite can be completely satisfied by one woman, but sadly, most women forget this basic need, either in relationship or marriage, it is forgotten. Sex to me is just as necessary as food. A man can only starve so long, until nature takes over, and we go and find a solution. When dating, I now discuss sex, and recommend couples discuss sex, and make sure their partner is willing to fulfill this basic need. If not, find another mate. I blame the media, and hippocrates, for making sex so taboo. Monogamy and sexual restriction are moral values I personally don’t adopt. Too often these personal values are put into law, instead of kept as personal values. I believe sex, and freedom of sex, should be personal and private matters, left to people, not media, courts, police and judges. Personal morales, that do not affect others freedom, should never be forced, or drafted into law.

• 4 Stephanie // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:36 am I completely agree with this article, being a sex worker in America. Most of the married men that come see me, tell me that there marriage is very important to them, but the only thing lacking is the sexual component.

• 5 James // Mar 11, 2008 at 5:26 pm One more comment!!! I am 50 y/o this year. I average going to a massage place once a month. I happen to like asian gals. They are very nice to me. They have a great attitude everytime I come in. I never see a sad place. Many of the women I give birthday cards to. They have husbands and are married, but no hang-ups on what they do. In Asia it is normal for men to come. None of the women have ever asked me to quit on my marriage and go with them. TO me it is just being with a nice woman for 2 hours and sharing conversation. I am actually happier when I get home to my wife and kids. I still love my wife more than ever. I did not cheat on her I feel. I did not like her sex any less, her body any less. Would marry my wife again and again. I actually tell her I go to the places. She is Chinese gal and she knows what I am doing and I am not leaving her.

 
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