|
How Snooping Helped Me Survive Divorce
Reading his diary helped liberate me from our marriage—after he left.
by Jane Warshaw
“Marry me or I’m moving out,” he’d said. “I don’t believe in divorce. I’m there for the long haul.”
My parents had divorced when I was less than two years old, so the idea of a family was both alien and seductive. My mother had died when I was ten, and my father remarried five years later. But his new wife hated me. I lived in a hotel in downtown Detroit, apart from my father, his wife and my brother from then on.
At the time, the promise of having a family of my own had been irresistible. And it proved to be everything I’d ever wanted. We had a great apartment and a beautiful baby girl. We both had good jobs. He was an executive with the bank; I was a successful advertising copywriter at a top New York agency. And in five years he never said a word to suggest that he wasn’t happy with me.
Maybe that’s why I was so amazed by his secret life as a virtual James Joyce.
The pain of reading his diary was oddly liberating. Once I got past my disgust, I couldn’t lose what I didn’t have. And if that was the man I was married to, I thought, I didn’t lose much. In actuality, reading his diary may have been one of the best things that have happened to me. It made me see that he was never really there for me to begin with. I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to make it alone. I’d been alone all that time and just didn’t realize it.
 (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ... |
Email to a Friend
Share on Facebook
Digg It
Delicious
Newsvine
Stumble
Reddit
1 Jane Warshaw // Sep 23, 2008 at 12:39 pm
To Kerrie Stone.
No you’re not the other woman. And this took place in New York City. He ended up marrying her and seems to be happy. Oh well…..
2 Bonita Banker // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:19 am
Contrary to popular belief, the investment banking field is largely WASP-y, like national politics. The Mayflower contingent still makes some waves in the American northeast. Oh, and I’m on the fence about reading someone’s diary or a man keeping a diary. Best of luck, Jane.
3 ela // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:00 am
a WASP that works at citibank?
4 Kerrie Stone // Apr 26, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I waas that other woman she was referring to. I called his wife to let her know that I wanted to end the relationship, that was just the beginning of a horrible experiance. I had been with him for two years, best friend for seven. he talked about me like I was a dog. His wife deserves him!!!! Oh by the way ladies, look out for Charles E. Harris III of Owensboro, Ky.