The New Luv Gov Of NY

by Tom Miller

We were channeling the New York Post there a little, sorry. But after being sworn in yesterday the governor of the Empire State decided to nip something in the bud. Rumors of extramarital affairs were circulating Albany and Mr. David Patterson took them head-on. Evidently, the legally blind new governor has dallied with the opposite sex outside of his marriage. He strayed from his marriage for 2 or 3 years beginning in 1999 with one woman. But he and his wife, Michelle, wanted to make things work. So they went to therapy and have been faithful in the 6 or 7 years since. Note: Michelle admits to getting some action on the side too.

What’s the lesson? Is it that dudes cheat? Is it that people cheat in general? Is cheating better than using a hooker? There was a sketch in the late 90’s in which Will Ferrell played a Foot Locker employee who lost his genitals in a fire. So the Democrats (burned by LewinskyGate) drafted him to run for office because there was no chance of him having an affair. Well, hopefully he’s got it out of his system. When asked if he thought he might have any more affairs he said, “I can’t see that.” He didn’t really say that.

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