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Men: We Kinda/Sorta Want You To Pay
It turns out there are reasons we do that faux grab for our wallet.
by Carrie
Who pays on a first date? Even in 2008, it’s a loaded issue—and not in the sense of whether the guy you’re out with is or isn’t. Even among experienced daters, deciding who should pick up the check stirs up complicated emotions.In the video above, Tango asked a few ordinary civilians—and recently ELLE/MSNBC.com did too, in the form of their sex and money survey. 74,000 respondees, and still no definitive answer. But according to Piper Weiss, in today’s Daily News, a few interesting themes did emerge.
According to the poll:
-2/3 of men want to split the tab.
-More than half the women said they always offer to chip in on the first date—despite the fact that 44% don’t want to. Perhaps Jen, 36, from Manhattan put it best: “As a general rule, I always offer to split,” she told the paper. “And then, of course, I sit back and silently judge what he does next.”
Two other women interviewed in the story confessed that the check-paying dilemma brings out their inner hypocrite. They’re feminists who don’t expect to be taken out, they say, yet they still want him to pay.
The she-rationale? Whether he pays is a woman’s way of finding out if he’s really into her. And besides, even if we make more than you do, we still get a little weak in the knees at the quaint notion of being courted.
Is this hypocrisy on the part of womankind? You tell us.
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1 David S. Lesperance // Mar 21, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Even if asked out, I would automatically reach for the bill. If she made a huge deal out of wanting to pay half, I would let her, but only after I made really sure that this was some question of pride for her. Same principle for opening doors. It is kind of schizophrenic because I assume female equality in every other aspect of my life.
2 Jonny Hairdont // Mar 20, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I feel like first dates are like job interviews, there’s no margin for error. Not paying would be like touching their food with your bare hand.
3 Nicole // Mar 20, 2008 at 10:17 am
I am hypocritical too. I want him to pay and I do get upset if he asks me to split the check. But if I offer and he lets me pay, I’m fine with it. So weird . . .
4 Tina // Mar 20, 2008 at 9:30 am
I have to admit I’m hypocritical like that. I offer to pay on principle, but I really want him to pay. And yes, I judge him if he does split the check.