Why Men Need You To Groom Them

by Jonathan Bender

“She just told me she liked how it smells. I’ve been using it for years now,” says Sean, who never would have tried it on his own, but now applies it as liberally as an 8th grader with his first bottle of Drakkar Noir.

Men are also conditioned to listen to the women in our family. Read: Mothers and sisters should help a brother out.

For Jonathan, a literary agent in New York City, his sister explained the facts of grooming while they were growing up. He learned that brushing ones tongue and tweezing between the eyebrows are steps that signal one is ready to be seen in polite company. But it was in the area of back hair where she made the biggest impression.

“The in-between stage is horrible. Either pluck or keep your shirt on until all your hair grows in,” recites Jonathan, who now prefers to pluck dutifully, rather than wait until retirement age to go swimming.

Ladies do need to be careful of how they phrase constructive criticism because beneath that dirty, hunter-gatherer exterior lies a sensitive man.