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Fad Diet Ruins Ritchie-Madonna Sex Life
Be sure to check on the side-effects of any diet FIRST.
by Tom Miller
Have you ever heard of the new Cookie Diet? We hadn’t either, but we did a little research and it turns out that it’s the brainchild of a Dr. Siegal. The point is to maintain a minimum caloric intake and only eat food provided by Siegal’s company. Most of the food is liquid or dessert-y in nature. Fun. So, director Guy Richie (Swept Away, Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, and Snatch) decided to drop a few pounds on the Cookie.
The only problem was that the lack of carbohydrates and sustenance brought their sex life to a virtual halt. Says Ritchie, “What does she expect from me, I’m not a gay man. There is only so much Madonna that I can take.” He didn’t really say that. But according to Fametastic she did say, “It was such a turn-off because he didn’t want to have sex.” And she later thanks God that he’s off of the diet. Ugh. Is this the end of Dr. Siegal’s Cookie Diet? It’s pretty hard to come back from negativity by Madonna. For instance, Malawi once had a prosperous, vibrant economy* and then some bureaucrat dragged his feet on the David Banda adoption.
Maybe the diet is OK, maybe Ritchie is just going through a slow spell. According to research, it happens to men over 30. He could be stressed out. Too bad there’s not an orgasmic diet for men. That would be a good deal. It’s kind of a bummer, though, when you’re wife narcs you out for having a low sex drive. We’re pretty sure that’s only something she’s supposed to snicker about with friends. Also, we’re close to 100% that you’re not supposed to talk about your husband’s diet.
*Note: The Malawian economy is actually starting to pick up but they still rank towards the bottom of development. Maybe standing up to international superstars is paying off.
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1 The Dish // Apr 16, 2008 at 11:23 am
Hey Doc,
On second thought, good call about preferring cookies to sex. If women can prefer shopping to sex, Ritchie can prefer cookies. Looking good and feeling good.
2 Sanford Siegal, D.O., M.D. // Apr 14, 2008 at 6:25 pm
The end of Dr. Siegal’s COOKIE DIET? After 33 years I hardly think so. Actually, Madonna didn’t say that the cookies, per se, made her husband less amorous. If they did I’d be surprised. I mean, I’ve eaten thousands of my own cookies over the years. They taste good enough but are they better than sex? Again, I hardly think so.
All joking aside, after treating more than 500,000 overweight patients, my experience is that a poor self image from being overweight is what kills one’s libido. Losing weight tends to kickstart one’s sex drive and relationships.
Sanford Siegal, D.O., M.D.
CookieDiet.com
Miami, Florida