How to Seduce a New Mother

by Maureen

When you become a mom, you acquire mommy friends. Sure, you may scoff now, but when you need to commiserate about sleepless nights and the endless breast milk versus formula debate, other mothers are the only ones who will listen.

My new moms group continues to meet, even though our class has since ended. We gather at the park or in coffee shops—you know, the irritating gaggle of strollers and pools of drool that stands between you and your latte? That’s (unfortunately) us.

We talk about all sorts of stuff, and this week, sex came up. The consensus? If your husband wants to have it, the quickest route to the bedroom is by way of a vacuum, a duster, and possibly a mop. I know, not very romantic and probably not your strong suit, but the small gesture of cleaning or picking up a bit around the house can lift a mother’s spirits—and lighten the stress of the impending household-chore doom.

So guys, if you want to get it on, but your new-mom permanent-scowl wife just doesn’t seem up for it, clean. And make no mention of sex. Just clean. Without being asked. We guarantee you’ll be getting some by the time baby’s in bed.