Jenna Bush Wedding In Less Than A Month

by Tom Miller

OMG. We forgot that one of the royal presidential twins is getting married in May. Holy moly. Where to begin? Ahhh, she’s marrying Henry Hager (no relation to the slacks manufacturer or the Horrible Viking, Hagar) and the nups are going to go down on May 10 in Crawford, TX. Jenna’s wedding gown is an Oscar de la Renta, natch. And no one will be allowed to print sketches or pics of it to make sure that Henry doesn’t see it.

The 14 bridesmaids and attendants (which represents a whopping 7% of the total guest count) will wear dresses by a Texas designer named Lela Rose (yep, don’t mess with Texas). And the MOH is her twin, Barb.

According to MSNBC, the Prez likes to joke that everyone involved would rather have his sign-off than his input (sounds about right). We wonder if VP Cheney is going to demand Primae Noctis, as is his right. We kiiiiiiiiiiiiiid. But seriously, that it going to be one hell of a bachelorette party. We feel sorry for the Secret Service guy that’s inevitably going to have to give them his boxers.