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Open Relationship Dos and Dont’s
Is it still an open relationship if you’re restricted by a long list of rules?
by Dan Eldridge
4. Always practice safe sex.
Any man who has ever had a steady girlfriend can name at least one benefit to staying monogamous: condom-free sex. But if you’re planning on sharing the love, it’s your responsibility—and a very important one at that—to insure the sexual health of your primary partner. For men and women both, this means keeping a fresh supply of condoms on hand. And what if you slip up, and “accidentally” slip it in without first slipping it on? Fess up to all other partners immediately—or at least prior to sleeping with each other next.
A few of the open couples Taormino spoke with during her research had “detailed, signed agreements that were very, very specific,” she said. “And yet other people say, ‘Hey, you can do whatever you want.’ But ‘whatever you want’ always comes with a caveat. And even if there’s only one rule, it’s usually safe sex.”
Dan Eldridge is a Moon Handbooks and Lonely Planet guidebook writer based in Philadelphia. His work has appeared in the Houston Chronicle, Miami Herald, Toronto Sun, Paste, and Seattle Magazine. His website is PioneerContent.com. To learn more about open relationships, visit MarriageWithoutMonogamy.com.
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1 Lance // Jul 24, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Great piece Dan, I’m going to go back and read all your stuff. I’ve been doing a lot of blogging lately about open relationships and I’m glad I found this.
2 Dan Eldridge // May 30, 2008 at 8:48 pm
You’re absolutely right, “Jeepers”. My comment was absolutely uncalled for. I think maybe I hadn’t taken my meds when I wrote that, or something. Keep those mean-spirited remarks coming, people!
3 Jeepers // May 30, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Sheesh, speaking of “people whose buttons are so easy to push.” Deep breaths, Dan.
4 Dan Eldridge // May 26, 2008 at 11:19 am
Nice try, genius, but that’s not what I wrote AT ALL. I didn’t even use the word “most”. The word was “many”. And if you would have taken two or three seconds to read the sentence that came before that word, you’d also see that I was referring to “deeply religious people,” and not Muslims themselves. You might have picked up on that because, after all, I did place the qualifying phrase “deeply religious people” before the word “Muslims”.
But like all deeply religious people, who for eons have been taking words and phrases *entirely out of context* in order to suit their own purposes or small-minded beliefs, you took *my* phrase entirely out of context. And what’s more, you even inserted a word of your own! (I didn’t use the word “most” — the word was “many”. And as I’m sure you know, those two words have very different meanings.)
But like all religious zealots who care only about advancing their own shallow, sheltered beliefs, you managed to entirely twist the meaning of my essay - and you even inserted your own word! - to advance your ass-backwards cause. Way to go, jackass.
Just remember: People like you are the *problem* in this world. And people like you are the primary reason we will always need solutions.
5 Karen // Apr 30, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Most Muslims have no sense of humor? Wow. So there’s the last time I’ll be stopping by Tango.
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