Is Beyonce With Child?

by Tom Miller

Bossip is reporting that Beyonce and Jay-Z’s rushed wedding was indeed a shotgun affair. Bossip loves referring to Jay-Z as Joe Camel, so when (or if) Beyonce starts showing, expect plenty of jokes referring to her bump and his hump (or humps if he’s a Bactrian camel rather than a Dromedary).

Is Beyonce pregnant, though? And if so, what does this mean? Is hip-hop going to have a new scion (or scioness)? At one point in the 90’s everyone expected Lil Romeo (Master P’s son) to be the anointed one and instead he got a somewhat suspicious basketball scholarship to USC. That kind of pressure has to be unbearable. And it’s gotta be doubly unbearable if both of your parents are giants in the same industry. Like what if Steffi Graf and Agassi’s kids think tennis is lame? Or if Marie and Pierre Curie’s children thought radiation wasn’t really a growth industry? We can go on and on (like what if Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter’s offspring think rom-coms are awesome or Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s twins only want to sing about politics in English?)

We think couples that are wildly successful in the same industry should think twice before having kids. Barring this simple act of humanity, they should really think about showing the kids the boring parts of the business first to let them know it’s not all Hennessy, hoodrats, private jets, and Grammy Awards.