Marriage Rx: The Silent Treatment

by Genevieve

Like other relationship guides, How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, written by Oprah-approved therapists Patricia Love and Steven Stosny, promotes tolerance through understanding.

Instead of pushing conversations peppered with “I feel…” statements and listening techniques, the authors recommend couples zip their lips and focus on improving the wordless connection between them. The claim is that men falter in relationships because of shame and women because of fear, and discussion only makes these differences more apparent and divisive.

That talking about a relationship makes men feel insecure and increasingly shameful initially strikes as an archaic concept in the 21st century of metrosexuals and Greg Behrendt, but what the book really gets at is: how much better would you feel discussing a touchy subject if you and your husband first shared a long hug?

Much like diet and fitness experts say, the authors conclude that romance doesn’t lie in elaborate gestures like weekend getaways (the equivalent of crash dieting) but in making small changes to one’s every day routine.