Mariah Warns Of More Weddings

by Tom Miller

So much for that. Mariah Carey went on Ellen’s show (conveniently called Ellen) and proceeded to tell Ellen that she wants a second (and maybe more) wedding with Nick Cannon. This weddings, per what Mariah told Ellen, wouldn’t just adhere to the standard 1-time-when-you-actually-get-married format. But instead, according to People, would take place every year and vary in format, grandeur, and guest list (we made up that last part because they will all be fabulous and A-list only). To be fair, it’s not a bad idea. The excitement and all that with a wedding could keep things fresh particularly if you had tons of money and someone else to plan it. Da Brat’s like, “maybe one year year I could marry one of ya’ll. Nah, I’m just gassin’ yah, unless you gonna do it.”

Despite previous remarks to the contrary, it sounds like Mariah wants to have babies. Maybe she hadn’t met a man who’s genetic half she would like, who she was attracted to, who could be a good dad, and who could stand her kookiness. Evidently, that man is Nick Cannon. We’re psyched for Nick (Dave Chappelle’s son thinks he’s hilarious). We just hope he knows what he’s getting into. This could end up with him being in totally over his head with no exit strategy like a star whose name rhymes with Chad Schmitt.