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Sex & The Curvy Girl
How overweight women manage sex, love—and stereotypes.
by Liz Funk
Last month during an intimate girls’ night in, I publicly posed the question that many overweight women wonder but never say aloud: “Is someone only going to marry me to get US citizenship?”
I don’t mean to knock cross-cultural love, but the fear I’d always had confronted me a few days before. A woman I knew—a good-looking gal with a great job and also about a hundred excess pounds—just got engaged to a weird-looking guy who I don’t think speaks English.
And, apparently, my fears are pretty commonplace among bigger gals. Says Wendy Wimmer, a blogger for the popular fat acceptance blog ElasticWaist.com, “The bumper sticker says it all: ‘No fat chicks.’ I have a lot of guy friends and they kind of forget that I’m a chick sometimes, so I have a glimpse into this male mindset, and I see the societal expectation for them to have a trophy girlfriend.”
Jenny* rarely dated when she was in college or in her early twenties. “I wouldn’t get a lot of attention,” she says. “All my friends would be getting chased, and I wouldn’t.” AJ Feuerman, a graduate student at the University of Southern California, has had similar laments: “I have had a couple guys tell me that they didn’t want to date me because of [my weight]. I had one guy tell me health is such an issue that he couldn’t imagine being with someone who looked so unhealthy. It was one of those few instances where I wished a guy had lied to me.”
While it seems shocking that a guy might say that, maybe it shouldn’t be. A Yale University study this year found that the average woman starts to experience discrimination when she becomes thirteen pounds overweight, while an average man can be nearly 70 pounds past a six-pack before his size interferes with his relationships or his work. The authors of the study also noted that “sizeism” was more socially acceptable than discrimination based on sexual orientation, ethnicity or nationality, and disability.
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1 edward // Nov 17, 2008 at 11:15 am
i’m an 18 year old guy who has just lost 50 pounds over the last 8 months… my comment… come on ladies, u can excercise and look like pornstars, why whine away and be unhappy? the stigma is real but still its not impossible.. i have fallen for an overweight girl before. if dieting wont do… well, fat guys love fat girls too. I know i did
2 Heidie // Oct 9, 2008 at 7:30 am
I am so happy and proud, to inform all curvy girls about the new brand carmakoma, edgy and urban high fashion for curvy girls !!
Checkout carmakoma.com
and enjoy !!
Love
weiss&lykke
3 MacFarlane // Sep 13, 2008 at 6:14 am
Being fat and curvy is just perfect for me, i like a woman when she is fat got hips and is busty, for God’s sake how will you feel when you are holding a woman and there is no feeling curvy nature of their body . Anyday anytime anywhere i will go for the am awaiting to be reached by any of them.
4 Nicole // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I am overweight and have been all my life. My weight has gone up and down with various diets, but I’ve never been “skinny”.
I have found some success on online dating sites, but have been on the whole very frustrated with the inequality between expectations of men and women.
I myself prefer bigger men, but I’ve found that lots of overweight men on these sites claim their body type as “average” (although it is obvious they are not by looking at their pics) and are only looking for women who are “thin” or “athletic”. It’s so frustrating to me! What a double standard society has.
5 Coreyfro // Jul 24, 2008 at 10:48 am
Fat or skinny, confidence is key. Sadly, curvy girls don’t have magazines in the check out line and the tabloids don’t talk about how great Drew Berrymore looks great now that she’s but on 5 more pounds, so there is nothing in the public eye that reaffirms the beauty of curvy ladies and bolsters their confidence. This puts them at a distinct disadvantage.
So, without further ado:
http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/Demotivational/1/demotivational-posters-curves.jpg
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