Bigger Than Black & White

by Carol Taylor

Why are there so many negative myths about black men and black women and their relationships?

“I know many great black relationships and marriages. But we don’t talk about them. Good relationships take work, no matter what color you are. Relationships have become dumbed down, for many reasons, dating younger women or outside your race. So any issue black women have with their black men becomes a big deal and they are seen as aggressive or harsh for having raised it.”

–STELLA, 46, Black, divorced

“I’ve heard black women are too this, that or whatever. I believe it’s a cop-out for some people who want to rationalize their decision to date outside the race.”

–MARCIA, 51, Black, single

“Some black women are drawn to characters: the guy with the dreadlocks, the rapper or the guy in the purple pants, who may not be the best choice in a partner. They then attribute their bad experiences with these types of black men to all black men.”

–ROGER, 40, Black, single

“It’s true that white women don’t demand much from black men, but I think that’s because they’ve been brainwashed by media and society to think that black men aren’t capable of much. From dating white men I do believe that there is sometimes a lack of expectation because there’s a lack of experience. Very few white people live in a black world. If they did they might be more demanding because they’d know what we’re capable of.”

–SOLI, 46, Biracial, recently single