Bigger Than Black & White

by Carol Taylor

Do you believe that black men are insecure or abusive and if so why?

“Everyone is insecure. Black men are vulnerable because their self-esteem has always been under pressure and their masculinity is based on self-esteem so they’re extra sensitive to anything that threatens their sense of who they are.”

–STELLA, 46, Black, divorced

“We’ve all heard the ‘talk’ about black men but we must realize that some of our men will be unreliable/players/abusers, etc. Just like white men.”

–MARCIA, 51, Black, single

Is it hard for you to find black men/women to date?

“I’m married to a black woman. And, it wasn’t difficult to find a black woman to date. Black women can be a bit bossy and, if there was no father in their lives, a bit unrealistic as to what makes a real man.”

–MARCUS, 39, Black, married

“It’s never been hard for me to find pretty, smart black women to date. It puzzles me that so many college educated men date outside their race. I don’t have a problem with interracial relationships, but I do have a problem with black men who won’t even give black women a chance.”

–MICHAEL 44, Black, single

Why do black men date white women?

“Some black men get an ego kick out of dating white women, especially if they are halfway decent looking. But plain black women don’t have the same opportunities with black men that plain white women have.”

–STELLA, 46, Black, divorced

“I think black men sometimes find it easier to date white women because white women don’t have to deal with what black women have to deal with. The same goes for black women and white men. America has created a great divide with slavery that affects black men and women. However the white women I dated were as oblivious to my plight as a black man, as the black women were.”

–PETER, 44, Black, divorced