How To Fight Like a Wife

by Lisa Emmerich

By the time our first daughter was born, I no longer actually left the house in anger. I couldn’t abandon the baby, and did I really want to ditch a man who came home early from work to play with his new daughter? A man who routinely offered me snacks and a magazine while I breastfed her?

Instead, I let it stew until she was tucked in and then threatened to leave him with our screaming pink infant for an hour ALL BY HIMSELF.

He surprised me by offering to do so anytime. A few weeks ago I left both our girls—now ages two and one—with their daddy for four days while I retreated to Chicago to visit friends. He never once called to complain.

It’s not that we don’t fight now that we have kids. If anything, we fight more. We’re often exhausted, and I slowly deplete my reserves of patience during daily potty training debacles, tantrums and sibling sharing squabbles. By the time they’re in bed, a dirty sock can set me off.

But we both know the game now: I’m battling my erratic emotions in an attempt to blow off steam; he’s waiting for me to calm down so we can discuss our options.