Charlie Sheen Got Hitched

by Tom Miller

The random sexual encounter aficionados over at Dlisted bumped into a good one today, Charlie Sheen is getting married tonight. And those ho-bags cannot wait for Denise Richards‘ reaction. Old girl’s gonna have to take her earrings off. We think they’re hoping for a cross between The Graduate and the invasion of Normandy.

What’s more? It looks like Brooke Mueller (Chaz’s fiancée) may have a bambino on deck. That’s probably going to be enough to put Denise over the edge. We’ll be surprised if she’s not married and pregnant by next week. It’s really too bad that so much production goes into her television program; a camera crew, a bottle of chardonnay, and 60 minutes every Friday night would be money at a time like this.

Scratch the idea of Denise getting married any time soon, her alimony deal would probably be impacted. But a pregnancy, hysterical or otherwise, wouldn’t be out of the question and would provide a great cliffhanger for It’s Complicated. Who’s the daddy? Why does every guy just assume all women are on the pill? How is this show so boring?