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Honey, I Want to Sleep With Other People
How to start a conversation about opening your marriage.
by Jenny Block
I’ve been having a tough time trying to decide in what order to answer your questions and respond to your comments. There are so many terrific ones and I promise to do my best to get to them all. It seemed to me that it would make sense to answer them in “order.” That is, from the beginning stages of opening a relationship forward. So, this week, I thought I might start at the very beginning with a question that I get all of the time.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy one to answer.
Here’s how the email usually goes:
Dear Jenny,
My husband/wife and I are interested in opening our marriage/relationship. I want to talk to him/her about it. But I don’t know where to start. I’m afraid he/she will misunderstand and leave/be angry/be sad. What should I do?
Best,
(Fill-in-the-blank)
If you’re in an honest, loving relationship, you should be able to talk to your partner about anything. That doesn’t necessarily mean he or she will feel the same way about the topic as you. But they certainly should be willing to listen with understanding and without judgment.
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1 Sarah // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:16 am
Some guy,
A lot of people in this world are too immature to stop judging people. You grow up and stop upsetting other people as they don’t fit in with your idea of the perfect relationship.
Sarah
2 Some Guy // Aug 14, 2008 at 11:54 am
Nancy,
He’s not going to leave his wife for you, and you’re damned lucky that he won’t. If he’ll cheat *with* you, he’ll also cheat *on* you.
Grow up, get some self-respect, and quit living on another woman’s leftovers.
3 Some Guy // Aug 14, 2008 at 11:52 am
If your spouse wants to sleep around, the solution is clear: end the marriage, immediately.
Lots of people in this world are too immature to be married, and there is no clearer indication of this than bitching about how they want to get some on the side.
Anita, if you want to be a Heinlein character and jump anything that moves, have fun. Just don’t pretend that you have anything that can possibly be described as a mature relationship.
4 Barry // Jul 3, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Anita Wagner, you should get together with Jenny Block so you can spend more time agreeing with one another. Who knows, maybe the only monogamous relationship you ladies could be happy with is with someone who hates monogamy as much as you two.
5 nancy // Jun 17, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I am a divorsed lady who loves a married man with this same situation.I am miserable & so is he, but it happens in life wheather he gets a divorse or not I will always love him for who he is.
Signed the other woman
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