JT & Jess Shack Up

by Tom Miller

InTouch is reporting that we’re closing in on the fulfillment of the Prophesy; Justin Timberlake is moving in with Jessica Biel (or likely the other way around). What does this mean for us? We’re guessing that Jessica either starts taking fewer b-movie jobs or starts making babies (or maybe a sitcom called My Problem With Women). Then again, it looked like the Prophesy was near fulfillment with both Britney and Cameron Diaz, so we’ll have to wait until Jessica Biel bears the boy-child (or girl-child, in a less popular version of the Prophesy) with the mark. And we will watch as that child grows into the greatest singer/dancer/actor/model/comedian ever and their stage presence shall create a new form of entertainment heretofore never imagined. Which shall be the Alpha and the Omega of artistic expression, which shall unite the people.

At least that’s the impression we got from watching Southland Tales, so we could be way off. If these 2 ever do get into the babymaking business, they could produce some good looking ones. Those kinds of babies could easily fetch 7 digits on a secondary market. We’re pretty sure that that’s the next step in ostentatious displays of wealth, celebrity babies. Who cares if you’ve got a vault full of Rembrandts and friggin’ Picassos if your neighbor has a Brangelina original?