Rated “R” For Racy

by Jessica Wakeman

Germany’s aghast at Wetlands, a sex-drenched new novel by super-cute TV personality, Charlotte Roche. In the novel, the 18-year-old character, Helen, enjoys anal sex and gets off on…avocado pits? (Yes, you read that correctly.) As the New York Times put it, “It is difficult to overstate the raunchiness of the novel, and hard to describe in a family newspaper.” That’s the best endorsement ever, right?

Readings of Wetlands are age 18 and up and audience members have allegedly fainted upon hearing the racy content. But her intent is not to titillate: Roche calls herself a free-spirited feminist and sees her book as rebellion against the airbrushing of women and hopes to provide women a “language for lust.”

Hmm, we don’t know…we’re all for racy sex novels, movies and songs. Screwing avocado pits is one thing, but the scene in the book where Helen saves semen under her fingernails for later (whatever that means) is more of a language to lose our lunch. Different strokes for different folks, we guess.

How soon till they translate to English?