The Rules To Dating Johnny Facebook

by Tom Miller

We hope that there is some kernel of truth in this; it’s too fantastic not to be true. Evidently, there are a few rules to dating Facebook billionaire Mark Zuckerberg. Evidently, the list is equal parts how-to and Magna Carta for women dating a dotcom dude.

The Wall Street Journal Blog reports that there some simple rules for dating this teenage billionaire. While we have neither ability nor the inclination to run through the list, one of the things that Priscilla Chan (Zuckerberg’s ladysmith) is entitled to, as girlf of the anointed one, is 100 minutes of dating outside of his apartment, just the 2 of them, per week. Which is a pretty sweet deal, we’d settle for 45 seconds of uninterrupted eye contact every week with the Web 2.0 Jesus. Excellent negotiating on her part, let’s get her working on Israel and Palestine.

There’s no word if a minimum or maximum frequency was set regarding the quenching of his male urges (to play Scrabulous?). Hopefully she worked franking privileges into the deal, have you seen how expensive mail is these days? Also, we’re willing to bet that she’s honorbound to not start a MySpace page (even though they have some awesome applications that Mark totally thinks are pandering to simpletons) or mention how brilliant/dreamy Sergey Brin is.

Having negotiated, predetermined rules may be a good idea for all relationships. Sure it takes a little bit of romance out, but we like people knowing right away that we will not tolerate them cheating on us with Andy Garcia.

This thing would have to be pretty airtight if it’s to rival Dan Eldridge’s Open Marriage Contract. That thing’s like the Massey Prenup of binding, non-marital contracts.