Rise of the Anti-Bride

by Anne Marie O’Connor

The lingering sadness after the miscarriage, coupled with a rainy Portland winter, had them yearning for sunshine. “So we decided to turn our Hawaiian vacation into a wedding/honeymoon,” Helin says.

Their wedding took place on gorgeous sunny day in April 2008, on a beach in Maui, with just the couple and the officiant. Though elopements can cause strife, especially with family, “pretty much everybody expressed excitement and support for the decision, since many figured we would never get married anyway,” she says. “We initially weren’t going to tell our parents or siblings about it beforehand, but the woman who tailored my dress recommended–from the perspective of a mother–that I tell them. I’m glad I listened, because my mom basically said she would have ripped my head off if she had found out after the fact.”

Besides, the newly minted Mr. and Mrs. Frixione are throwing a reception in July, catered by one of their favorite restaurants, for about 100 friends and family members. “We’ll do the cake cutting and a first dance,” she says, “but no bouquet, no garter, no grand entrance and definitely no doves!”

BIG FUN ON A LOW BUDGET

There was nothing conventional about Allison Stelly’s wedding to Ethan on March 10, 2007. But then, there’s nothing conventional about this Austin couple. “I spent most of my adult life dating women, so I didn’t have a tie to the ‘rules,’” she explains. “I wanted it to reflect us and our relationship, rather than trying to act out some stock social roles of bride and groom. Also, we live pretty simply and frugally, and there was no way we’d spend $20,000 on a party.” Their final budget: just under $3,000.