Mariah Still Wants The Gifts

by Tom Miller

Channeling John McEnroe right now, “YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!” Maybe there was a typo somewhere or some sort of misunderstanding on our part, but it looks like Mariah Carey is pulling an all-time wedding faux pas. According to EntertainmentWise, she’s asking her friends and family for wedding gifts. That’s well and good, but you can’t have a secret wedding and then request that everyone you might have invited to a regular wedding gives you gifts. This is outside of the rules of polite and decent society. According to the post, she’s using her admin to guilty wealthy friends into hooking her up with her Bergdorf registry.

It’s 1 thing to invite someone to a wedding that they won’t be able to attend so they feel obligated to get you a gift (it’s called a Sue Ellen Misky, Seinfeld). Sometimes that move backfires and they fly half way around the world just to spite you, but you roll the dice. You do not fly to The Bahamas, turn out a quickie wedding with the hilarious Nick Cannon, get some tattoos, sign a prenup, and then ask for wedding gifts. If she gets away with this, society as a whole could be at risk. On top of that, isn’t she absurdly rich already? It would be OK to ask friends to give to a charity or something. Her rich friends should each get her the same thing on the registry, “Oh, another Swarovski crystal gravy ladle, thank you, no I love it…”

Etiquette is important if you don’t want people to treat you like Pariah Carey (get it?). Nick Cannon knows better than this.