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Open To Something New?
Jenny Blocks answers the question "Where do you find people to seduce?"
by Jenny Block
So you and your partner have decided to embark on an open relationship. You’ve talked about it and thought about it and considered all of the ways it might work – and not work – and decided that you’re both interested in giving it a try. That’s when the second most frequent question I get arises.
Dear Jenny:
We’re ready to try opening our relationship. But where do you find people to seduce?
Best,
Open to Something New
For me, that question is a little bit problematic. First, the word “find” and, second, the word “seduce.” Let’s start with find. My M.O. is not and has never been to go out on the prowl. Being open has always been about welcoming opportunities as opposed to crafting situations. The reason why is simple – being with other people isn’t about “need;” it’s about want.
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1 nico // Jun 24, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Oh, but I understand the question: we’re ready! now what?
I think one answer is to take up new social activities/hobbies, things you can do apart from each other (though if they bring you closer, then maybe you don’t need to be open in practice, yeah?).
Try things like dance classes and social dancing (hello? Tango?), gym classes, running in the park, foreign language conversation groups… Anything, something. Try online social meetup-type sites. If it’s your cup of tea, try onlune poly groups.
All this not so you can find people to sleep with, but so you can grow, and in the process develop new skills, meet new people, make new opportunities. Eventually you’ll find someone.
(Hi Jenny, we met this weekend at one of your book readings. Thanks for publishing your book!)