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7 Relationship Deal Breakers
Men tell us what it takes to turn them off.
by Ronnie Koenig
We often assume that men don’t obsess over details in a relationship, but in fact, most guys will tell you that they do notice the little things – from the kind of cereal you prefer to the way your voice goes up about an octave when you get in an argument. So what are the non-negotiable traits – be they physical or personality-based – that most men take into consideration when choosing a mate? Read on as real men reveal the little things they say can take a relationship from a rolling boil to lukewarm in 10 seconds flat.
1. She talks down to the help. I was dating this woman who seemed like a really cool girl, except that when we’d go out to this diner near my apartment, she was always rude to the waitresses. When she went to the bathroom I’d apologize for her behavior and sometimes slip a few extra bucks onto the table. It wasn’t long before I ended things. If you don’t have respect for people who work on their feet all day, you’re not going to be my girlfriend. I used to be a bartender so I know how it is.”
- Keith, 31
2. She’s a picky eater. I was out on a date to my favorite sushi restaurant and the woman I was with literally spit a roll into her napkin. If you’re going to be the girl who picks things out of her entree or rolls her eyes if I suggest anything more exotic than Italian, it’s not going to work. The “dressing on the side” girls are also not adventurous in bed, in my experience.
-Wil, 33
3. She’s sexually manipulative. I was dating this woman who withheld sex, claiming it was because of her religion. Then if she wanted something, she’d be all over me. Now I’m not afraid to say that sex is a non-negotiable part of a relationship.
-Hany, 29
4. Her idea of “happily ever after” doesn’t match up with mine. I know that my plans for the future don’t include having kids. I have purposefully avoided dating beautiful women who I knew were interested in me because I knew that they wanted to have children. Most women won’t change their minds on this – and neither will I.
-Robert, 40
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1 Kristin // Aug 17, 2008 at 8:38 pm
1. A guy who doesn’t have any long term friendships
2. A guy who’s always talking bad things about everyone he knows.
3 A guy who’s has a weird relationship with his mother, either loves her way way to much or hates her, or both at the same time
4. A guy who blames everyone for his problems, then if you start a relationship with him, you know everything is going to be your fault no matter what
2 Barry // Jul 7, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Dog Gone ladies! This was a article about what turns MEN off, not the other way around. For those of you women who take umbrage with certain traits of the male species, direct yourself to the Marrying Mr. Wrong article. Feel free to empty your bilge pumps on that “post a comment” page.
3 Done Moved On // Jul 5, 2008 at 8:46 pm
1. Guys who cry more than I do.
2. Reactive men (same goes for girls, I guess) who blame all of their problems on their parents.
3. Guys who can’t handle their girl being “more [objectively] educated” and more “professional” career.
4. Guys who talk about their assest (e.g. BMW, house on the lake, income, blah). Seriously, those are like an added bonuses that might work better as a surprise. Someone always said, “under promise, over deliver.”
4 S // Jun 30, 2008 at 2:46 pm
My deal breakers with guys:
1. If he makes obnoxious, rude comments about his mother, sister, aunt, etc…He expects me to believe that he’ll respect me if he can’t even respect the women he’s are related to?
2. He gets falling down drunk everytime - without fail - when we go out.
3. If he dismisses my opinions if they don’t jibe with his. Just cause I don’t agree with him, that doesn’t mean that I’m “wrong” or “ignorant”.
4. If he gets aggressive with other men if they look at me. I mean, it’s cool to put a protective arm around me if he thinks another man is showing too much interest in me - but the “what are you lookin’ at” does not impress me. It makes me think he’s pathetic and insecure.
5. Every ex of his was a “b*tch” or a “whore” doesn’t cut it with me. It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. Not EVERY girl he dated previous to me was in the wrong cause I know that not every guy I dated previous to him was in the wrong.
6. Blaming everyone else for his problems or saying that everyone at his job is stupid and he’s the only smart person there. That screams - “HELLO, I am the problem at my job”.
5 Barry // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:20 am
Straight women who make out with other straight women- How can I trust a woman when I have to be constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure she isn’t banging my sister?