The Shark To Marry Evert Saturday

by Tom Miller

Greg Norman, golf’s Great White Shark, is set to marry US tennis great Chris Evert on Saturday. The wedding is going to be a pricey, showy affair and the guest list reads like a who’s who of tennis, golf, and entertainment. Two dicey invites are Evert’s ex-fiancé Jimmy Connors and her arch-rival Martina Navratilova. The Sunday Telegraph mentions that the wedding is in the Bahamas and that Norman’s ex-wife, Laura Andrassy, will certainly not be attending and is in no way bitter.

Chevy Chase is slated to attend (”Be the ball, Greggy.”) As are former presidents Bill Clinton and George Bush Sr. (but not Billy Bush or George Clinton). Good night, moon; how are Greg Norman and Chris Evert friends with this many people? Bipartisan presidential showings? Gwen Stefani and Anna Kournikova will be there with John Lovitz for cripes’ sake. The guy has only won 1 major, though Evert has won 18 major tournaments and hosted Saturday Night Live and her name once got sportscaster Jim Rome punched out.

The good news for everyone in attendance is that the wedding is on Saturday and Norman’s Sunday yips won’t cause him to say the wrong name, lose the ring, or kiss the priest. We wonder how long this will last.