Spray-On Condom

by Tom Miller

Yayer! According to Perez Hilton a German company has invented a spray-on condom. Condom Consultancy has a means by which a prophylactic enthusiast pumps liquid latex onto their dong and 20 to 25 seconds later they’ve got a custom jimmy hat. And the thing peels off just like a regular old raincoat.

Sure, 20 to 25 seconds is a long time to wait for some people particularly if the whole act is only going to last about that long or there’s a risk of things, um, going south while watching the paint dry, so Condom Consultancy working on a 10 second formula. Don’t get us wrong, we think of the condom as a necessary evil at best, but this could seriously revolutionize disease prevention. Two of the biggest problems with the standard pro-pho are fit and coverage.

Not all wangs are created equal and yet condoms only come in 3 sizes; slim fit, regular, and magnum. Sure there’s stretching and whatnot but too small is miserable and too big is likely to get left behind. Spray-on solves that, right? As for coverage; maladies like the Herp and HPV can be transferred by the beans as well as the frank. So the ultra-classy ball-slap may be kosher under the spray-on jammy regime.

If the good people at Condom Consultancy can figure out a way to make sex with a condom actually feel good then they have a chance of saving the Earth. Though we’d want to be nowhere near this scene the first time one of these suckers breaks or if the tiny latex molecules give some poor dude c*ck rot.

If the FDA deemed it safe, would you try a spray-on condom?