Verne Troyer Sex Tape

by Tom Miller

Mike Myers is really going viral on this Love Guru marketing. Evidently, there is a sex tape involving the diminutive Verne Troyer and a Kentuckian that goes by the handle Ranae Shrider (note to reader: spell check hated both of those names). And she’s an aspiring model.

We haven’t seen the tape (nor will we, we’re still pretty traumatized by that video of a woman felating a horse that was going around in college), but it involves sex, Verne Troyer, and a standard-sized woman. We’re just a little confused about the sex positions implicit in such a match but will leave that to your imagination. And because we all know as much as we ever need to know about Verne via The Surreal Life, we want to know more about Ranae Shrider (and play into her fame-seeking hands).

Stars Journal says that Shrider is a 22-year old model from Kentucky. Jesus take the wheel, that’s all the illustrious TMZ could find on this little lady? If this lady turns out to be another Mike Myers character then the sex tape A) better be all Kama Sutra positions with knowing winks; and B) better include B-Roll of Troyer trying to seduce him.