Encore! Second Wedding Planning

by George Krubski

Children may be the most important family members in an encore situation, but they’re not the only ones who are relevant. As I said, we were fortunate in that Nicole’s family doesn’t care about her first husband, which meant that, in many ways, the first wedding was a non-factor. Of course, many couples are not so lucky. The family might prefer the first spouse to the new one, or still have a hate on for the person who wrong their loved one. Either situation can be problematic, because this is bound to bring up comparisons with the first ceremony, and that’s one of the things that everyone seems to agree should be avoided as much as possible.

Can I Get a “Do-Over”?
Since we didn’t have to deal with either of those issues, what were the differences in our encore wedding versus a first wedding?

Well, first and foremost, experience was on our side. Nicole had been through all this before, so she knew the ropes, and that was something we definitely took advantage of. Six months after I gave her the engagement ring, we were already back from the honeymoon. We were able to plan a wedding (for almost a hundred guests… we’re not talking a tiny affair) in a matter of weeks, with very little stress, mostly because of Nicole’s experience. The fact that she’s incredibly organized didn’t hurt, though.

I think the biggest differences with an encore wedding—at least with ours—come before the ceremony. Because Nicole’s family had already thrown her a shower, they weren’t about to throw a second one. That’s not uncommon, and wasn’t a real issue for us, because my mom—who I’m pretty sure secretly wanted me to have a few sisters—didn’t want to miss out on any of the festivities, nor did my cousin Ali (who has been asking to be in my wedding party since she was about ten years old), or some of Nicole’s friends who didn’t know her the first time she got married.

That’s actually something pretty important to remember with encore weddings. Even if it’s not the first ceremony for either party, it’s probably the first time that some of their friends have seen them get married, so it’s not wrong to treat it like it’s the first time, complete with a shower (if only for the folks who didn’t have the opportunity to go to the first one) and gift registries. Since Nicole and I were both out on our own—which is likely to be the case in most encore weddings—the items that we registered for were probably a little different than if we’d both been first timers, but, hey, I don’t care how many times you’ve been married, everyone can always use more towels…