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How Not To Leave a Voicemail
We hope this awful attempt at a pickup is a joke.
by Jessica Wakeman
By now you might’ve heard what’s been called “the douchiest phone message in history” from holytaco.com. But if not, please drag all impressionable youngsters into the room with you and have a listen to learn how never to leave a voicemail for a hot chick who gave you her number at the bar.
Dmitri is calling Olga in a painfully misguided attempt to woo her. Some choice bits:
“I am single, I have no trouble meeting women, women approach me, six, seven times a day…your friends were very jealous and even if they say they weren’t, they were envious of the fact that I approached you.”
“You looked very taken aback by my approach and I hope that wasn’t timidness. I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly, because I don’t really date timid women…I want a woman who’s very independent and strong. So we’ll talk about that.”
“You’re playing games like on stupid TV shows…it is now 4:30 on Wednesday…but if I do not receive a call from you at 3:00 on Thursday night, you can erase my number. I don’t play games like that.”
These aren’t even the best parts…have a listen and cringe. We hope this is a joke…it’s so over-the-top, it hasn’t to be, right?
 (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ... |
1 veronica // Jun 30, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Things like this make me so happy to be married.
2 Dmitrii Medvedev // Jun 30, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I, too, refuse to date timid women who are unable to handle how direct and passionate I can be after a few drinks. I could sympathize with this man, who has a wonderful first name, and who is clearly being treated unfairly by this manipulatively passive-aggressive woman. But I am disappointed in Comrade Wakeman for whetting spoilers in her post without sufficient warning.
3 Sergei Zohan // Jun 30, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I have both left and received far douchier voicemails. This Dmitri is a rank amateur, that angle may work in St. Petersburg but American women need more finesse. Or name-dropping.