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by Gerri Miller
Off screen, Sedgwick has been married to actor Kevin Bacon for nearly 20 years, since they met on the set of the TV movie Lemon Sky in 1988, marrying that September. They have two teenage kids, Travis, 19, and Sosie, 16. Asked if there’s a secret to having a solid two-decade marriage, she shakes her head. “No secret. Honestly, we just got lucky. I have no words of wisdom about that.”
Perhaps living away from Hollywood helps. The Manhattan-born actress’ home base remains in the New York metro area, though she spends half the year in L.A. shooting “The Closer,” away from her family. She gets emotional when the subject of leaving them comes up.
“It’s challenging. It’s kind of a ‘one day at a time’ thing, to tell you the truth. It’s actually become harder as the years have gone by, rather than easier, probably because I see the time slipping by. My daughter has only two more years at home,” Sedgwick says, choking up a bit. “You’re like, ‘Should I be here, or should I be there?’ You’re constantly asking yourself, ‘Have I done the right thing or have I done the wrong thing?’ And what I always come back to is I know it’s right because I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t, and I don’t think it would be as much of a success if it wasn’t the right thing.”
Nevertheless, doubts still persist. Even though Sedgwick says Sosie has adjusted to her absences and that by pursuing her career, she’s “showing her to follow your bliss and all that bullshit,” she clearly misses her terribly. “It’s like, ‘Mom’s not here and she’s missing stuff.’ So it’s hard,” she sighs.
“But everyone in America has trouble balancing, you know? You not only have to be successful, you have to be a good mother. You have to be a good sister. You have to be a good friend. And if you’re a man, you have to be strong but you have to be vulnerable. You have to be able to bring home the money, and you don’t want to take money from your wife. But what if it doesn’t work out that way? It’s such a balancing act for everybody. Many people have to work two jobs so they’re never home with their kids at all. So when I’m not working, I’m home with them all the time.”
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1 R. Sieberg // Jul 11, 2008 at 9:02 am
I am almost 65 years old which only indicates that my parents were or tried to be like the Cleaver couple of “Leave It To Beaver.” My parents were children of the depression and the warriors of WWII. This is OK I guess except that when my dad’s profession in construction went slack in the winter (even here in sunny 24/7 southern California) he expected my mother to stay at home minding the four of us and keeping house. The fact is that my mother had other very good skills in typing, bookkeeping, and shorthand which she could have put to use that she learned in high school. There was no reason that my mother could not have gone back to work, at least part time, to help with the family finances. So we all suffered. Understand that my siblings and I already helped heavily with the major chores on the weekends, my sister and I knew how to help with the cooking. We all did morning chores and after dinner cleanup and homework as a matter of course. My mother was a great organizer so her going back to work would not have been a big deal around our family life. It was just that my dad’s pride was involved and a notion at that time that women “belonged” at home. Stupid concept considering how hard the women of America worked outside the home during WWII. So when I married 45 years ago, I worked until our family started coming. We then made the joint decision that I would be a full time mom and we adjusted our budget to fall within the perameters of our one income. We just lived more frugally and watched our pennies. When the our children began to graduate from high school I went back to college and earned my degree. I taught for a while and am now a happy gardener, grandmother, and homemaker for two. The point is, if people really put some thought into both members of the marriage working most things will work out. Amongst our friends, almost all had good family lives and successful professions. The kind of life that Kevin and Kyra have takes daily “tending to” not unlike a happy garden. They have worked very hard to do the right thing for their family and for their professions. The “good life” doesn’t just fall from the sky like rain. We each have to work hard at the life we want for our kids and for ourselves…the joys come like unexpected floral deliveries.
Just my thoughts…
2 R. Sieberg // Jul 10, 2008 at 7:44 am
I love Bones second best too. I watch the earlier episodes on TNT and the newer ones on Fox. The plots, characters, and the show in general gets better as it ages. It reminds me of that saying that goes “…a work in progress.” I dearly love Kevin’s work too. It is a testimony to the inner strength of both Kyra and Kevin that they have such a good, stable, and loving family life outside Hollywood.
Very, very, special people here!
3 Mary-Frances Bache // Jul 9, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Absolutely agree that it is one of the two best–Bones being the other.
But, Kevin and Yyra are celebrating their 20th anniversary this year–not their 10th. Their older son is in his second year of college.
4 R. Sieberg // Jul 9, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I have been a Closer fan since the first episode. I believe that Brenda Leigh Johnson comes close to being a “savant” when it comes to working crime cases. She needs Fritz, parents, and her crew to stay balanced as a human being. All of us out here love loving her. Does she drive us crazy sometimes - yes! But loving her is the thing. Kyra Sedgwick is an excellent actor of the highest caliber. Those of us who are loyal fans (check TNT’s Support forum) love each and every member of The Closer cast. Watching season 4 with marriage, new home, and meeting her and his families in the mix, plus solving some delicious crimes is going to be the biggest hoot yet.
This is the best program on television today!