Semi-Celebs: Weddings And Breakups

by Tom Miller

We’re gathering that it was a slow 4th Of July weekend.

First off: that Andrew Firestone guy finally got someone to marry him. The 1-time Bachelor and tire-fortune heir had enough of playing the field and knew decided to settle down with Serbian model slash actress Ivana Bozilovic. The 2 had a wedding near the Firestone family winery (of course they were) in Los Olivos, California according to Access Hollywood. Good deal.

According to Defamer, Brian Austin Green’s wild attempt to not get bucked off the Megan Fox rodeo has ended. The 2 met before the absurdly hot Transformers star got all famed out. Good news: This virtually guarantees David Silver’s return to the 90210 zip. Bad news: This righting of the ship returns us all from a great vacation in fantasy land, Peter Pan. More than a few dudes will have to find a new idol to convince themselves that a bombshell is in their league. Bad deal for BAG, only reasonable for Foxy M Fox. It’s funny that when the lady gets more famous no one blames her for jumping ship, but he’s a jerk when the opposite happens. When we get around to fixing all the other gender double standards and inequalities, someone can make a ruling on this one too.

Pie-f*cker to get married again. Per InTouch, Jason Biggs wants to do it up with wife Jenny Mollen. Back in the spring, the American Pie star and, um, Mollen appeared before a judge to make it legal. Now, they want to turn it out. Maybe they can double up with Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. A little off subject, but doesn’t Jenny Mollen look like a cross between former Biggs costars Alyson Hannigan and Christina Ricci (OK, with a dash of Karen Allen)? Well done, Biggs. Very heads up not looking for someone totally out of your league like someone whose name shall not be mentioned (see previous story). We’re not huge fans of the elopement-cum-big wedding-later approach. So we’ll call this a so-so deal.