Ask A Non-Monogamist

by Dan Eldridge

Aside from the 14 months I spent working as a music editor for an alt-weekly in Pittsburgh, I’ve been making my living as a freelance journalist for the past five years. I also work out of a home office – my morning commute never takes more than five or ten seconds – so it was pretty much business as usual when a few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk and tapping away at my laptop late at night, slowly working through the paces of putting together yet another magazine article.

Before long, I decided to pack it in for the day, but not before checking my email one last time. I wasn’t expecting anything in particular, and yet when I entered my email address, and then my password, and then clicked the ‘Enter’ key, I found an unopened note from one of my Tango editors waiting for me. This seemed a bit unusual – we didn’t often send messages back and forth unless a story of mine was in the works. Which it wasn’t. But of course, I clicked on the subject line anyway, and began to read.

The note was brief, and to the point: My editor explained that along with a few other staffers in the office, she had been discussing the “Marriage Without Monogamy” column I’d been writing for Tango over the past few months. Apparently, all of them had specific questions that I somehow hadn’t gotten around to fully explaining in any one of my essays.

Here’s an excerpt from the editor’s email:

Some of us in the office were discussing your posts, and we’re all curious to know more about Carrie and how you feel about her being with other men and women. Also, have you and Carrie discussed what would happen if you were to fall in love with another woman? Is she open to a polyamorous relationship, or would that be a line in the sand for you two?