Gayness Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

by Rajul Punjabi

I don’t know whether it’s my overdeveloped single cynicism or simply that the metrosexual trend for guys has not made its way out yet, but I feel like every man I date is secretly homosexual.

Maybe I’m being dramatic but I do feel like lately I’ve been getting the gay end of the stick, so to speak.

This all came together for me last week when I went on a first date with a guy named Danny – the second guy I matched at speed dating. Danny is a dancer, an ensemble cast member of a very popular Broadway show, with a sexy, muscular frame that would make Will Smith in “I Am Legend” (yum) look flabby. And he models a little too. This alone piqued my gaydar but I ignored it, wishing and hoping.

The problem here is I like my men mannish. Rough around the edges; scars, stubble, tattoos…that’s all fodder for my sexual appetite. Pretty boys usually make me hurl. I like ‘em looking like they just got into a bar fight (but with the internal patience and peace of Gandhi). Hmm, not picky at all. Wonder why I’m still single.

Anyway, Danny is soft-spoken, artsy, and well…he seems to veer towards many stereotypes that would make anyone wonder why he was out trying to romance me, very clearly a woman. Maybe it’s my broad shoulders, I speculated. He was very interested in me, and asked me out on a second date while walking me to the subway. I told him I’d get back to him when I looked at my schedule for the week, since I needed time to think over the possibility of another evening of great conversation and even greater bewilderment.