Vermont Is For Lovers, Socially Awkward Or Otherwise

by Audrey Ference

Adam and Apryl—a college friend and his wife—are the opposite. Both are extremely funny and outgoing individually, but together are almost a machine of sociability. They have a really funny patter between them and are really good at including other people in that, and so are socially more than the sum of their parts.

My friend Ben had brought his new girlfriend with him, and perhaps because they hadn’t been dating very long, they were pretty much the same together or apart: mellow, but outgoing.

So okay even though I used to get really annoyed when people would talk about socializing in terms of couples instead of people, as if you couldn’t hang out with just one person who is dating another person, or also as though people who are single are somehow less as people, now that most of my friends happen to be with someone, I have definitely noticed that being with a partner changes a person’s public persona.

Some folks transform into a social powerhouse, some people hang back and let the more socially able partner take the lead (occasionally me and Frank trade off being these people, when one of us is feeling particularly outgoing), some get less able when together, and some people are unchanged entirely.

I don’t think any one style is indicative of a healthier relationship or anything. Some people are just naturally better at interacting with strangers, I suppose. I do worry that Frank and I come off as uninterested or standoffish to people that we meet for the first time, but you know, thinking back, I’ve always been the kind of person that someone has to meet a couple of times before they like me.