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The Female “Happy Ending” Massage
Satisfaction guaranteed? One writer finds out, firsthand.
by Melissa Lafsky
Chances are you’ve heard the story: an unmarked door leads to a dimly-lit massage parlor where women with strong hands and tolerant smiles await a train of libidinous male patrons. The “happy ending” tale is all too common, a mixture of truth and urban legend that captivates male imaginations even in an age of casual sex and unlimited Internet porn.
“It’s always a certain type of place,” said Brian, a 41-year-old screenwriter who admits to visiting the odd “men’s spa” or two (though never, of course, for that). “You go for a reason, and you know what you’re getting when you walk in the door.”
The rest of spa culture, meanwhile, is dominated by women. There are more than 14,000 spas in the U.S. bringing in around $10 billion in annual revenue, and their predominantly female clientele average more than 100 million visits per year. With all that time spent around low lighting, soft music, and heavy rubbing, it can be tough not to think of sex. But until recently, the female version of “happy endings” has remained doggedly taboo.
Luckily, any “rules” restricting female sexuality are dying as fast as Sex and the City repeats can slay them, and it was only a matter of time before women embraced the notion that “quick releases” aren’t just for men. And with competition among spas getting ever more intense, customers are starting to demand more than just Enya and free herbal tea with their Shiatsu, according to massage therapists. “It’s such a well-known thing for guys, and women are finally getting more comfortable asking for it,” said Anna, a self-described “massage healer” who has worked at several upscale spas and performed happy endings on female customers. (Names have been changed to protect the less-than-innocent.) “Women are finally getting comfortable with the idea that it’s ok to feel erotic in what’s already a really erotic setting.”
The bottom line: We like massages and we like orgasms, so why shouldn’t the two sometimes, er, come hand in hand?
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1 Wow // Aug 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm
We certainly live in confusing times…
Rather than exploring the question of if massage and orgasm should go hand in hand for anyone, she took the more tittilating tact of focusing on how women can too..
Of course this disregards the contreversy around sex slavery and prostitution that is normally associated with men’s “spa” trips; I suppose we could ignore it since women go to spa’s that are certainly more legitimate right?
What confuses me is that here are these professionals trying to do a job (theraputic or sensual) and there is this attitude being presented that “if I pay for it”, I should get off! Especially if you want to keep your job, in light of competition and all.
This isn’t about being uptight… it’s more just amazement that this “sexual liberation” seems more like casual disregard for so many issues around sexual harrassment and misconduct.
Yeah OK, he’s just a man - he like’s rubbin one off for you right
2 Folly // Jul 30, 2008 at 10:05 am
Hmm. An interesting idea. It’s a horrible crime for a man to get a (dirty, dirty) hand job from a massage therapist but perfectly fine for a woman to have “romantic” sexual intercourse under the same circumstances. Apparently this is because she’s an upscale professional in a place that charges oodles for a massage while he’s Joe Blow who’s paying fifty bucks in a hole in the wall massage parlour for a happy ending.
There’s so many double standards here it’s appalling: class, gender, wealth. Men are dirty, women are romantic. Presumably men who walk out of their dirty massage parlours are sweaty and furtive (and dirty, dirty perverts) while women have a “glow” and a “spring in their step.”
Wow. Just wow.
3 martin mohr // Jul 20, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Wow, happy endings! Not a thing to encourage your readers to look for since it is against the law and turns the massage profession away from where we want it to be. I am very dissapointed that you choose to encourage this type of behavior.
4 Cat Brother // Jul 18, 2008 at 8:17 am
This isn’t about prudishness, it’s about
a. Abusing the patient’s trust
b. Getting in a buttload of trouble, jobwise and legally.
Expecting a massage therapist to get you off is exactly like expecting a pharmacist to slip you drugs under the table. S/he gets caught, or you rat them out for some reason, they don’t get a stern talking-to, they get their ass fired, and good luck getting a job elsewhere in that field.
If you’re a modern, controls-her-own destiny feminist who wants to get off, great. You want to buy a sexual experience, flip the yellow pages open to ‘escorts’ (hint- they’re not actually just there to go to dinner with). You want to just get off, get a Hitachi Magic Wand. You want to date a masseur, ask him out for coffee when he’s off duty. But quit trying to get it on the cheap.
Any masseur dumb enough to do this on an ongoing basis gets caught, trust ME. I’ve worked in health clubs since ‘89, including doing massage, and they’re effing fishbowls, where everyone knows everyone’s business. Why, just check out our boy Tron. Think he went back to work, biz as usual today? Are any of those busy west side professional women going to get him his next job? Think that spa’s NOT going to reap the ‘benefits’ of being known now as a swanky cathouse?
It’s attitudes like Magpie’s that always kept me professional, no matter how much the woman moaned and thrashed.
5 magpie // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:05 am
sorry to say, but this article speaks the truth. i, for one, have left more than one massage at a posh spa with a little extra spring in my step, and some have my friends have received extra perks too over the years. and, as much as you’d like to discount this comment as freakish, we’re just regular upper west side professionals who were looking to let go just a little bit more, and then move on with our days. no date-making with our masseuses, no ‘let’s grab coffee later’ - just another service rendered, and a titilating, erotic experience to take with you. my guess is that most women are far too ashamed to admit that they can get turned on during a massage, but TRUST ME - this is an old, well-known custom in the massage biz, especially for women who may be lonely and in need of touch. the comments here are silly and beyond prudish, and i’m rather amused to see such a moral outcry.
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