Look Him Up or Leave it Alone?

by Sarah Jane Shangraw

If he or she participates in a social networking site, such as Myspace of Facebook, or better yet, if he or she blogs, you’ve hit the jackpot! The juicy details are laid bare. Did he indeed become a journalist? Did he fulfill his dream to climb Mt. Everest? And if there are photos, is he still cute? Is that gorgeous mane of hair still intact?

If even one of these answers is yes, by now what you might really want to know is if he’s still single.

If you are in a committed relationship and you think you are just curious, beware. Kalish says people have always been able to find former flames, but back when it took more effort to do so, people more carefully considered the risks and potential consequences of doing so before taking the leap. “The Internet has made it too casual,” says Kalish, “and people are ruining good, thriving relationships.”

With technology, cheating in thought is easy. You can anonymously check out your former flame and wonder “what if”? Some might consider emails—”So what’s up with you?”—innocent enough, but Kalish says it’s a slippery slope to cheating in deed.

Taking the Long-Lost Lover’s Leap
Lost-and-found lovers who have reunited will tell you it feels as if it was meant to be, but this doesn’t mean the road was easy or that they took it lightly. It is not easy to abandon current relationships and careers, and some live with guilt over their choices, no matter how cosmically driven and “right” the reunion seemed.