Split The Bills Without Splitting Up

by Alyson Gerber

I feared my prorated rent would eliminate my right to whine about Zach’s choice of $1.99 V05 shampoo or to splurge on my $15 curly girl products. More importantly, I didn’t want Zach to dictate my spending or resent me for choosing new gold peep-toes over dinner out.

So before you book a truck and start unpacking, you need to have a plan. There isn’t a “right” strategy to manage your financial arrangement, but a successful live-in relationship is more likely with an agreement. Whether it’s in an Excel spreadsheet or not is up to you, but make sure it’s written down. If you know a notary or have a lawyer friend its even better if they can make it official.

Start with your biggest shared expense, which is most likely rent. For Leah, 25, a teacher and Mike, 25, an urban planner it wasn’t as simple as dividing this monthly cost in half:

“When he first moved in, I had been working for a year and he was straight out of college without a job. We had a gradual split-rent plan, meaning the first month he paid a small amount of the rent, the next month a little more, and so on until we were splitting the cost of rent.” Part of living together is stretching yourself to help out your partner.

Although Zach pays a more for our apartment, we tried to find a balance so I wouldn’t have to call him my “sugar daddy.” The $400 difference puts a little extra money in my account, so I don’t have to skimp on birthday presents or start self-waxing. Contributing in non-financial ways, like grocery shopping and laundry, allows me to feel like an equal partner. These responsibilities are ones I wanted to take on since I enjoy doing them. Don’t put yourself in charge of cleaning if you hate doing it otherwise you’ll end up resenting your partner.