The Heart Wants What it Wants

Jenny Block writes about being in love with two people at once.

by Jenny Block

(Page 2 of 3)
 

I can see the jaws dropping and the eyes popping and the hands wringing now. If I’m in love with her then that must mean I’m no longer in love with my husband, right? It must mean I’m in some sort of denial about my sexuality or that I’m staying in my marriage for all the wrong reasons, right?

Wrong.

One doesn’t cancel out the other. New love does not make less of the old. Or, rather, it doesn’t have to.

We have been raised to believe that there is one person out there who will complete us, who will make us whole, and for whom we will have feelings that we will have for no one else. But what if it turns out that’s not true? What if that is merely the stuff of which movies are made? What if love begets love and we are stifling ourselves in an exceptionally unnatural way?

I have often heard people expecting their second child express fear that they won’t be able to love the second baby as much as they do the first. “What if I don’t have enough love to go around?” they ask. And then the minute that new baby is born they can literally feel their hearts expand.

 
 
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3 responses so far
  • 1 deborah // Nov 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    I want to reply by saying Jema is a girl for you and your husband. What if the person whom you loved was John the male person. Would you still be with your husband in a plentyfull way? Or is it just soley the invited person in your marriage a female for him and you love her?

  • 2 Sasha // Jul 22, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Yes. This topic is monogamous isn’t it?

  • 3 Yawn // Jul 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    I’m so bored of all these ridiculous open marriage articles. Does Tango NOT have anything else to write about regarding relationships.

    We get it.

    “The majority of the population struggles with monogamy. Hence the divorce rate. Well, what if there was another option out there? What if we fought what our parents and society have taught us? What if we didn’t limit ourselves to one person. Introducing: open relationships - the answer to your boring monogamous lifestyle!”

    We get it.

    Can we move on now? Jenny has written several articles on the topic now. Can we get something else? If I want to keep reading these articles, I can read her book.

    Tango.. please find a new topic to obsess about.

 
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