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The Heart Wants What it Wants
Jenny Block writes about being in love with two people at once.
by Jenny Block
For me, that is the way it is with polyamory. The amount we love is only limited by the amount we allow ourselves to love. My love for my husband has intensified, not decreased. I have become more aware of him and of myself and of what we mean to one another. It becomes too easy to take one’s partner for granted. But when you are balancing more than one partner, that type of carelessness becomes treacherous. Besides, the heart wants what it wants. And my heart wants them both.
Trying to mandate love is like telling a flower to limit its blooms. Corny? Perhaps. But I cannot help but think of the metaphor of flowers and all things living and growing when I think about love. Put it in a pot, stifle its roots and bound to that pot it will remain. But plant it in the ground and allow it all the sun and water it wants and only the earth and sky are the limit for how far and wide it can grow.
None of this is to suggest that a person can’t be happy and satisfied with one partner. I have plenty of friends for whom monogamy is the perfect fit. But I know even more people for whom it doesn’t work. In fact, it is strangling the otherwise happy partnerships they have. We can’t all wear the same size t-shirt. So, why in the world do we demand that everyone “wear” the same size love…?
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1 deborah // Nov 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I want to reply by saying Jema is a girl for you and your husband. What if the person whom you loved was John the male person. Would you still be with your husband in a plentyfull way? Or is it just soley the invited person in your marriage a female for him and you love her?
2 Sasha // Jul 22, 2008 at 10:28 am
Yes. This topic is monogamous isn’t it?
3 Yawn // Jul 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I’m so bored of all these ridiculous open marriage articles. Does Tango NOT have anything else to write about regarding relationships.
We get it.
“The majority of the population struggles with monogamy. Hence the divorce rate. Well, what if there was another option out there? What if we fought what our parents and society have taught us? What if we didn’t limit ourselves to one person. Introducing: open relationships - the answer to your boring monogamous lifestyle!”
We get it.
Can we move on now? Jenny has written several articles on the topic now. Can we get something else? If I want to keep reading these articles, I can read her book.
Tango.. please find a new topic to obsess about.