Confrontation Clarity

by Pauline Jennings

I’ve been on a bit of a blog-writing-hiatus.  Switching jobs, training my replacement, and helping my dad promote the book he just wrote (see www.beyondfossilfools.com to hear the podcast we made, and search Beyond Fossil Fools at YouTube to see the video) has kept my brain too occupied and full to write.  Then, on the 5th we left for a road-trip to Canada’s mountains-majesty to attend a destination wedding.  We just got home a few days ago.  Much more on this later.

Today, I want to write about something I’ve been thinking about for a few weeks.  A relationship-revelation sort of deal.

My husband and I got embroiled in an “emotional debate” (argument just doesn’t fit for what we do).  As a general rule, we get along famously – we’ve figured out a lot in the area of marriage communication.  However, when we do start down this tension-filled path and start to butt heads, it seems to almost always take the same damn form.  Sound familiar?  We continuously agree that we’ll get over/fix/avoid going there, but inevitably every few months we find ourselves there.  Again.

Anyway, after the ED was over, I began to reflect on it in a way I never have before.  I thought:  how does Steve approach me when I’ve said/not said/done/not done things that bothered him, and how do I react?  Do I also get defensive?  I thought some more.  And more.  And for the life of me, I couldn’t think of the last time Steve had confronted me.

Could this be true?  Do I do nothing that bugs my husband?  Wow.  What a wife I am… dang near perfect if Steve’s lack of confrontation is any gauge.