Confrontation Clarity

by Pauline Jennings

But (I thought, as reality trickled in), how about the times I’m mean to him because I’m stressed?  How about the times I don’t follow through on things I’ve said I’d do?  How about the times when I’m stubborn or illogical or jump to the wrong conclusion or don’t say the thing he wants to hear or….what about all the times I’ve said/not said/done/not done the exact same things that, when he does them, I have to “address it”?

The only conclusion I can possibly come to here is that Steve accepts me.  As I am.  He knows that sometimes, because I’m human and we are in a long-term relationship and these things happen, I will do upsetting things.  But it must not matter to him, it’s not worth even bringing up, because it is completely insignificant in the face of the love he has for me.

OMG, I thought.  This cannot be true.  I mean, him loving me and accepting me the way I am is 100% wonderful.  But you can see the not-so-nice flip side: all of our EDs are started by me?!  I think, no, no, NO, they are started by the things he has said/not said/done/not done.  Right?  I mean, these things need to get cleared up.  I shouldn’t hold on to them; I need to talk to him about it so it can be resolved and fixed.  Right?  RIGHT?

Ummm.  Maybe not right.  Steve doesn’t seem to suffer by NOT bringing these things to the table.  In fact, he seems more content by not doing so.  Wow, I thought.

Incredible.  In a kind of life changing sort of way.