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Wife Wants A Threesome
Dan and Carrie give non-monogamy advice.
by Dan Eldridge
I’m ok if it just happens unplanned, and spontaneously. But my husband is set on “planning and finding someone,” which is really hard to do. Most of the people who are into it only want me involved. He’s a pretty big guy, so most girls find him unattractive. I love him for who he is, and his size doesn’t bother me. My problem is this: How do I relay that information to him without crushing his feelings? Should I not say anything at all?
He’s always wanting to go to strip clubs in order to “find” someone, but I don’t like the thought of having a stripper come home with us. Not clean, not smart, and I’m not comfortable with it, either. Any suggestions? I want it as bad as he does. I just don’t want to pursue it the way he does.
Dan: You see what I mean? That’s a tough one, isn’t it? Although I will say this: Something I noticed right off the bat was that this woman wasn’t being honest with herself. Not at all. Nor was she being honest when she wrote me this email. Let me give you an example.
At the very beginning of the letter, she explains that when her relationship with her now-husband first started, the guy was fine with the fact that she occasionally slept with other women. But at some point, he obviously came to the realization that Karen enjoyed her girlfriend’s naked body more than she enjoyed his. Naturally, it was after that point that he changed his tune about Karen’s dangerous liaisons: It was no longer alright, unless he was right there in the room with the two of them.
But in the next paragraph of Karen’s email, she says this: “He and I are only ok with it as long as we’re both involved – every time.”
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1 Jim // Nov 16, 2008 at 9:31 am
Uhm… she enjoys having sex with her best friend more than her husband? Her best friend hasn’t told HER husband? Have they considered divorcing their husbands and marrying each other? Yeesh. If nothing else, I’d start with being honest with the other girl’s husband, for crying out loud.
2 judyjerome // Sep 23, 2008 at 10:08 pm
yes i think it is a wonderful idea to try !It is really wonderful and thrilling to read about people finding all kinds of ways to up the ante when going into heat and going after a thrilling orgasm.
judy
3 Wow // Aug 5, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Yeah, she’s not being honest with herself… about the friend
My gut says - Why would someone be OK with their wife getting back into an on-going (back together not hookup right) sexual relationship with their ex-boyfriend?
Perhaps I’m not fluent with the dynamics of more open relationships, but he is still her primary partner, and her enjoying sex *more* with her friend just seems out of place.
It’s not like there is a mention of other third parties in play… it’s all about this specific woman, who she was in a relationship with before, who is now only? her best friend, but they have included previously, and now wants something more ongoing (but hasn’t told her own husband)… which sounds like a lot more than she is stating here [did she marry the wrong person?]