Beau vs Buddies

by Liz Funk

Says Kate, a twentysomething living in upstate New York, “If a girl’s boyfriend has done something that makes her friends angry at him, he probably did something really stupid… but I think that there is a way to make it up and the boyfriend can somehow restore his impression with her friends.” Kate channels the Sex and the City movie to back up her argument. “I think that Charlotte knows that Carrie really loves Big and Charlotte wants to see them happy together. She does curse the day Big was born… but that’s only because he hurt her best friend and at that moment in time she wanted him gone.” But Kate also says, “Charlotte is so marriage crazed that she wouldn’t care if Carrie was marrying a bum from the subway.”

So what are women supposed to do with the grudges that develop? Kate’s best friend just swallows it. “My best friend hates my sort-of-boyfriend. But whenever she sees him she acts like she’s his best friend, because she knows it will make me comfortable,” says Kate.

Allison possesses a similar, laissez-faire approach to her friends’ relationship choices, even though she’s been burned before: “I ultimately think that it’s up to us to know who we are and what works best for us… which is why even with friends whose choices I disagree with… I recognize that it’s about what they need or what they are attracted to and it’s none of my business unless they are in danger in some way…”

And so it went in Sex and the City: The Movie. Despite their dislike of Mr. Big, Carrie’s friends support her choice. After all, it’s hard to dislike a man who builds you a shoe closet.