5 Things Men (Really) Think About Sex

by Jayden Harlow

REALITY: Well, maybe, maybe not. Let me ask you this: How special would you feel if we made it clear to you that we’ll pretty much go home with anything in a skirt? Not very, am I right? Despite a rather memorable low point in the ’90s, when men were expected to be sensitive and shy and cry at movies, the mating game hasn’t really changed all that much over the years. We let you know we’re attracted to you sexually early and often, and you tell us how far we can go and when. Generally, nobody’s more surprised than we are when you say “yes” right off the bat. This doesn’t mean we’ll think you’re a slut if you sleep with us on the first date, but we will wonder why we were able to seal the deal so quickly. We may decide that the chemistry was simply too amazing to wait. On the other hand, we might think that you aren’t all that discriminating about who you take to bed. If our goal is to find a temporary sexual partner, this isn’t necessarily a problem. But if we’re looking for something more long-term, we may decide to keep searching until we find someone who wants “us,” not just anyone with the right anatomy.

MYTH #3: Men want women who are completely sexually free.

REALITY: Actually, we’re not nearly that hard to please. Mainly, we’re just looking for a partner who’s sexually compatible with us. As long as you’re open to about 80% of the things we enjoy, we aren’t going to bail out just because you don’t share our fantasies about sex on a moving motorcycle (I’m not even sure that is possible, but, hey, these are fantasies, right?). In fact, we’re going to feel much more pressure if we think you’re saying yes just to prove how free and open you are. The last thing we want is to lead you somewhere you don’t really want to go. So tell us what your limits are. We’ll respect them. And if we’re too far apart in our sexual tastes, then maybe the relationship isn’t really what either of us wants or needs.

MYTH#4: Men lose interest if a woman makes them wait for sex.

REALITY: There are a lot of different kinds of waiting, and our reaction is going to depend largely on what we think is behind the delay. If we think you’re genuinely taking the time to get to know us before becoming intimate, we’re often flattered by that and willing to hang in there for a while. We love the idea that you’re choosy because it makes us feel amazing when you eventually do choose us. On the other hand, we’re not idiots, and we’ll disappear pretty quickly if we think you’re simply stringing us along, seeing how many free dinners you can score before admitting the chemistry just isn’t there for you. That may sound cynical, but every guy over the age of 25 has found himself dragged around by the nose at least once by a woman who wanted nothing more from us than a free meal. So the best way to keep us interested is to be truly interested yourself.